


Caught Red-handed

by dinosaurus_maj



Series: Invader Red [1]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Alternate Universe, Deals, F/M, Gen, High School, I guess maybe Miyuki era??, I just really like red and purple ok, I wrote this instead of finishing my homework, Invader Red - Freeform, Irken ages don't make sense to me, Lots of mentions of the word 'umbrella', M/M, No Smut, Not Beta Read, One Shot, Promises, Reader is a human, Reader is a teenager, Reader's gender is not specified, Reader-Insert, Red is a teen, Threats, You're kinda like Red's Dib, but I die like a wimp, but they're still tall, but your dynamic is waaay different from actual Zim and Dib, getting caught in the rain, idk the complications of this au, maybe she thought earth would be worth conquering, or zoom. or discord. whichever works, purple got sent to a different planet but they skype, so please send help, so there goes red, so while writing this I just imagined that they age the same way humans do, the tallest are invaders au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:42:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24983284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinosaurus_maj/pseuds/dinosaurus_maj
Summary: While walking home from school one day, you come across your classmate, Red, caught in the rain. You don't really know each other, but the nice thing to do would be to help him out, right?So what if he's an alien? That just makes things more interesting.
Relationships: Almighty Tallest Red & Reader, Almighty Tallest Red/Reader
Series: Invader Red [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1919623
Comments: 9
Kudos: 62





	Caught Red-handed

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who caved and wrote an Invader Zim fanfic even though she's only seen a few episodes and the movie twice?
> 
> Yeah it's me.
> 
> To be honest, I'm not too into the dark and gritty aesthetic and themes. I just really like the characters and I think the Irken race is very interesting (the Massive and insignia are really cool). I also really like Red and Purple so, yeah.
> 
> Kinda ooc? I don't know you can be the judge of that. I've been wanting to write a Reader-insert fic with one of the Tallest for the longest time but I just hadn't been able to come up with a creative idea I liked. Then, yesterday, my brain said "Zim and Dib but Red is Zim and Reader is Dib" and I got to writing.
> 
> Not my best work but I like it for now and hope y'all enjoy!

The new boy at school is an alien.

How do you know? Well, if the the spider legs didn't clue you in, then maybe the antennae and green skin did, or the big red eyes with no pupils staring at you eerily from the dark.

Since his first day at your school, there had always been something strange about him. Not just strange as in 'weirdo' strange, but just downright _off_. You had never been able to put your finger on what, he just set off your senses whenever he was around you and not just the "cute boy" alarm either. He did weirdo stuff, like say things most high schoolers don't or do stuff that most people would consider strange, but that wasn't what ticked you off. If anything, it just reinforced this fantasy in your head that he wasn't what he appeared to be.

You were right, of course, but not in ways that you'd thought or expected. Since when had you ever been right like this, anyway?

The rushing of rainfall on your umbrella and the sidewalk muffled the sizzling emitting from his skin. He was completely drenched and yet smoking—something that him and the teachers had always written off as a rare water allergy but you'd always thought to be a bit more than what was said. His human facade glitched and crackled, fizzing away to reveal something you never thought you'd ever live to see.

The two of you had been frozen in place since your eyes met, him suspended high up and almost completely hidden beneath the shadow of an awning and you with your feet planted on the wet sidewalk with your umbrella over your head. The two of you only stared back at each other for what felt like a really long time, his face devolving from shock to complete horror, a far cry from the cocky, composed teenager you knew him as.

You, on the other hand... you were surprised. Surprised that you were right and surprised that life could become a lot more interesting after all. You also felt amazed. You should feel afraid or at least freaked out, but really, who _wouldn't_ be fascinated by an extraterrestrial being? Although, you were only _assuming_ he was alien. That was probably rude of you, huh? It couldn't really be helped. It just made too much sense.

You finally tore your gaze away from his face to the thin, spidery metal legs that supported him. It was the first thing you'd noticed as you turned the corner and the thing that attracted your gaze upwards to see your classmate high up in the air with his back pressed against a brick wall.

"Hi," you called out. Though it didn't feel like you'd spoken loud enough for your voice to be carried over the rainfall, his antennae swerved forward as if he'd heard you. You tried again anyway. "Hi, uh..." You hesitated. What do you say to an alien? "Need some help?"

It was a valid offer but it sounded stupid as soon as it came out of your mouth. You looked away for a moment out of embarrassment, but when you looked back up at him his pure-red eyes were squinted at you in suspicion. He was probably trying to decide whether he should vaporise you or not. Call you crazy but you preferred that he didn't.

Eventually, he began to slowly lower himself to your level but he still remained suspended to retain some form of intimidation and superiority over you. His body stayed close to the wall, however, betraying his wariness of harmless, little old you.

He said your name. When he paused, you realised that he had been expecting a response.

"...that's your name, right?" he inquired. For a quick moment, you worried over whether or not you should let him have your name. It was pointless, though, since he already knew it. That was more of a faerie thing anyway, wasn't it?

You nodded.

"Yours is Red, isn't it?" For all you know, it was a sort of cover name.

"Of course it is," he sounded annoyed but you weren't too worried. He always sounded annoyed. "And it's not short for one of your dumb human names like 'Frederick', alright? It's just Red and that's it."

That made sense. He always looked peeved whenever the teachers called him 'Fred' or some other variation that wasn't what he preferred. It was probably just an alien thing, you supposed, to be named after a colour. Still, even if your name was something weird, like a colour, you probably wouldn't like to be called something any dumber either.

"Okay," you said placatingly. He still looked tense, though, his antennae standing stiffly atop his head. It was as if he was expecting you to jump on him and eat his brain or something, which is what _you_ should be afraid of _him_ doing. "You can calm down. I don't want to hurt you or anything."

"As if I could be afraid of _you,_ " he hissed, baring serrated, zipper-like teeth. They were unusual but they succeeded in making him appear more menacing. You couldn't tell due to his lack of pupils, but his squinted gaze was focused on the rain. "It's your dumb, acidic Earth rain! If it weren't for that I would be back at my base by now!"

You couldn't help but wonder what an alien base might look like, but you couldn't daydream right now. You were talking to an alien. You had to focus.

"I'd imagined that getting caught in the rain could really suck for you," you mumbled, mostly to yourself, but you felt like he heard you well enough. "We could share my umbrella?" It came out as a question, but seeing as the rain might not let up as soon as he'd like, he wouldn't have any other choice. He knew that, too, judging from the way his eyes widened at your offer.

"Yes! Give it to me!"

He reached out almost desperately for your umbrella, but out of reflex towards the sudden movement, you stepped out of his reach. He growled, frustrated but unwilling to take a single step out from under his shelter.

"Give it!" he demanded. "I order you; give it to me or I'll pulverise you!"

Once again, you feel like you should be afraid, but he just reminded you of a toddler demanding for candy.

"I can't just let you take it," you said, holding the umbrella's handle close to you protectively. "I'll get soaked and my mom's gonna be mad at me."

It's not like getting pulverised wasn't scary. Your mom just mattered more.

Red squinted at you again, his unusual teeth hidden behind an annoyed, close-lipped frown. For a moment you thought that he might just go through with his threat and reduce you to nothing, but for some reason he didn't.

"Alrighty..." he muttered. The metal legs supporting him scraped against the pavement with metallic thunks as they carried him off the wall and repositioned him in front of you. Once his feet touched the ground, the legs folded up and retracted, whirring and clicking when they disappeared behind him. "Let's make a deal, then. Give me your umbrella and I _won't_ pulverise you."

You always liked simple and straightforward orders, but in this situation it wasn't good enough for you.

"Um, no thanks," you said. His glare hardened, but before he could do or say anything, you stepped further away. He hesitated, allowing you to add, "How about this—we'll _share_ my umbrella, you don't pulverise me, neither of us gets wet and everyone's happy. How's that?" It wasn't ideal, but at least it didn't involve you getting soaked to the bone or blown into smithereens.

He opened his mouth but then closed it again to rethink.

"That could work..." He tapped his foot as he considered it, his hands on his hips. His head was turned slightly to the side but it felt as if he was still looking at you. "But," His head suddenly faced you again, fixing you with an intimidating glare. "You have to also agree to not tell anyone that I'm not... native."

That didn't require much thinking on your part.

"Deal," your answer was quick, probably quicker than he expected. His eyes widened for a moment but he quickly switched his surprise for suspicion. You opted to explain. "Even if I _did_ tell anyone, it's not like they'd believe me. Everyone would think I'm crazy."

Red looked thoughtful for a moment before realisation crossed his face.

"That's right. You don't have any friends, do you?"

You felt your hands tighten around the umbrella handle and the sound of the rainfall became deafening. Heat crept up to the tips of your ears and you looked away.

There was no obvious purposeful ridicule in his tone. For all you know, it could've just been an observation, but it still stung. A lot more than how you'd imagine being pulverised would feel. It's not like what he said wasn't true, either. You didn't get along with most people.

"Do you wanna get back to your base or not?" you said quickly, almost snapping at him. He looked surprised at your sudden change in tone but still allowed you under the awning with him. You just wanted to get this over with now.

"Give me your jacket first," he said, or practically ordered. "Your stupid Earth water caused my projector to malfunction so I can't put on my usual disguise anymore."

With a heavy sigh, you adjusted your umbrella beneath your arm so that you could slip off your jacket. He was soaking wet, but you could always dry it later. "Fine."

You struggled a little, but you didn't trust Red enough to put the umbrella down. You switched to holding it under your other arm to slide the first one out of its sleeve and once you were free of it, you handed the jacket over to him. It fit well enough, though it would probably fit a lot better if he took off his backpack, but you had a hunch that it was a little more than just a backpack. His antennae flattened against his head, allowing him to cover them beneath the hood as he pulled it over his head and face the best he could. The zipper couldn't close, let alone reach, so he kept the hood secure by holding the base of it with his claws.

The alien then inched closer to you, close enough to be effectively sheltered by the umbrella yet still far enough that he didn't touch you. He bounced on his heels impatiently as if his expression wasn't already conveying that. He was even eyeing your hands around the umbrella handle as if he was contemplating trying to snatch the umbrella again.

"C'mon, I'm running out of time!" he griped. At your annoyed look, he eased a bit, but he was still visibly impatient.

"Alright, alright." you said, resigned. It was then that it struck you that you were about to walk an alien to his home base.

With that, the two of you set off. You walked out from below the awning, and for a split second Red lagged behind, but he quickly rushed to your side under the protection of your umbrella. He looked up as if he was expecting to be showered by 'stupid Earth water' anyway, but upon seeing the effectiveness of your umbrella the grimace disappeared from his face and he allowed his shoulders to sag with relief.

He quickened his pace a little, though if he wanted to he couldn't break into a run without burning the flesh off his bones. You didn't feel compelled to go any faster than you already were, not without splashing a puddle if you came across one, so Red had to slow down again and fall back. He repeated this a few more times before settling for just sulking about his predicament. It sort of reminded you of players having to 'follow' slow NPCs in video games.

"Can you walk any slower?!" he huffed, hunching his shoulders and tugging your jacket as he pouted. You didn't know why, but you found it kind of weird that aliens pout like humans do. That is, if it wasn't just something that he had picked up from his time on your planet.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" you questioned, genuinely curious. "What are you running out of time for?"

His pout melted away into suspicion, an expression on him that you were starting to get used to seeing.

"Why do you want to know?" He sounded cautious, which you thought was kind of pointless. What could you do with weird alien information anyway?

You shrugged.

"I'm just curious," you said honestly. "Anyway, you didn't answer my question. Why do you want to get back to your base so quickly? Do you have alien homework to send to your leader or something?"

His eyes widened as an expression of alarm crossed his face. Your own eyebrows shot into your hairline and you smiled out of bewilderment.

"That's seriously it?" You laughed and Red looked up again when the umbrella shook above the two of you.

"I-It's not homework!" he retorted, clenching your jacket in his hands. "I have to send in a _report_ and it's a lot more important than the homework you humans do."

You hummed in agreement. "That's true, for sure." You pondered for a moment before speaking again. "Is it, like, time-sensitive? Is your leader really strict about turn-in times?"

"Yes she's very—" He paused and then scowled. "Asking questions wasn't part of the deal!"

You laughed despite yourself.

Red sighed and muttered something in what sounded like a foreign—or rather, _alien_ —language. It was probably something offensive directed at you, but you didn't really care because it was really cool to possibly be the first person to hear an alien language from an alien race. This was enough to make you forget his scathing comment earlier and recover your mood.

The two of you walked on in silence, Red leading you on where to go though he remained almost shoulder-to-shoulder with you. He still had to slow his pace so that he wouldn't walk ahead of the umbrella, but you were walking fast enough that it wouldn't make him too late and it wasn't too uncomfortable for him and his long, lanky alien legs, so he'd stopped complaining.

Though it was bizarre to be walking an alien home, it didn't really _feel_ bizarre. At the end of the day, it was just like walking a human home, except that, you know... the human was an alien from space.

You looked at him, at his green skin and big, red, pupiless bug eyes. He wasn't like anything you'd seen or could imagine. He had weird teeth, antennae, claws, and very likely a who-knows-what kind of weird alien culture. He'd always rubbed you as off. You'd often imagined how, you just never could've imagined _this_ and especially not that some of your wild fantasies were right and that _he wasn't human._

Sometimes—Alright, _all the time,_ you liked to let your mind wander. Didn't matter when or where—when you're at home or in the middle of class—your mind would go places and it would take you with it. Things like the supernatural or cryptids were fun for you think about. Sometimes you'd play with the idea that the people next to you were secretly werewolves or vampires. It was all just in your head, though. You don't really believe in that stuff, even if you'd like them to be real. If someone had told you that one of your classmates was really and truly an alien in disguise, you wouldn't have believed them.

"Why are you helping me?" Red said, breaking you out of your thoughts.

Zoning back into reality, your eyes met his and you couldn't help the smile on your face.

"I thought asking questions wasn't part of the deal?"

" _My_ questions are cool," he said haughtily. "Remember, I can still pulverise you."

"Alright," you said with a roll of your eyes, deciding to just humor him. "You had a question."

"Why are you helping me?" he repeated. "Even before I threatened to pulverise you, you had offered to help me."

"It's just the nice thing to do." you replied simply.

He seemed to be unable to make sense of it, though.

"But I'm alien." he pointed out, as if that was something that needed to be pointed out. "And I thought humans only did things for their own benefit. I hardly ever speak to you. We're not even—"

"Friends?" you finished. You stopped, and he careened at the edge of the umbrella's reach before he did the same. "I don't know where you got the idea that all humans are _that_ selfish, but some of us do make an effort to be decent people."

You didn't know Red very well. You didn't know Red _at all,_ and even less than that if you include the fact that he wasn't even from the planet. He's only been coming to your school for a few weeks and from what you've _seen,_ he was rather antisocial—with humans, at least—and reserved. From the times you've seen him with other students at the school and the few times he's spoken to you, he liked to keep to himself, but that could just be him protecting his secret identity as an alien.

You had no idea what his motives could be. You didn't know what he did outside of school. For all you knew, he's been on Earth for much longer than a few weeks.

You didn't know if _he_ had any friends here on Earth. You didn't know how much he knew about humans and since he's been undercover at a _high school_ full of chaotic, dysfunctional teenagers, you could only guess that his impression hasn't been all that great. It was concerning, to say the least. Misinformation can be a dangerous thing.

"Some humans are bad," you said. "Some humans do bad things and hurt other humans. But some humans don't suck all that much. Those humans like to help people, _even_ aliens, just because."

You continued walking. Red followed, but he quickly took the lead again to show you the right way.

The two of you continued the rest of the walk deep in your own thoughts. You followed him onto a familiar street, and upon closer inspection, it turned out that you didn't live too far from where his base was situated. How convenient.

By this point, the rain had petered out enough for him to safely walk without the umbrella. He seemed relieved, not just for the lack of raining acid, but also for the fact that you wouldn't have to follow him right to the front door of his base. It was a shame, really. It would've been pretty cool to get to see an alien base.

He turned to leave but stopped. Turning on his heel, he faced you again and gazed at you too intensely for your liking, as if he was trying to peer into your mind. Dang it, he wasn't telepathic, was he? Ah, you'll have to worry about that some other time.

"So."

"Um."

You both cut yourselves off, not expecting the other to speak at the same time. Red cleared his throat and you allowed him to speak first.

"This won't be the last time I'll see you." he began.

"Absolutely not." you agreed.

He looked sheepish for a moment, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. It didn't seem like he expected you to be so compliant.

"I mean... we're going to see each other at school, but also because you know my secret," He looked serious now, meeting your gaze again. "No one here was supposed to know. According to mission protocol, you should be eradicated, but..."

You raised an eyebrow. "But...?" you prompted. Whatever that 'but' could be sounded more appealing than being eradicated.

"That'd be too much of a hassle to cover up and..." He sighed, seeming reluctant to continue. "I need to learn more about humans if I want to get this mission over with."

"Uh-huh."

His face turned a deeper shade of green. You could only guess, but if you had to, you'd say he was blushing. You couldn't tell if it was out of embarrassment or frustration, though.

"It'd only make sense that you learned about humans _from_ an actual human over... however it is you've been learning about us before," You looked down at your feet, shadowed by the umbrella you still held over your head. At the top of your vision was Red's feet standing on the the other side of the shadow's edge opposite from you. "So, uh, I don't know if I'm the right person for that, but I don't really have any other choice, do I?"

"Yeah. Either you help me, or," He drew a line across his throat with his index finger. Yeah, you'd rather not.

"Let's make a new deal, then," you concluded. "I'll help you with your mission and in return you don't kill me—or probe me, or whatever other horrible things you aliens do to people."

"You also have to promise not to tell other humans about my secret."

"Of course!"

He held out his hand and without any hesitation you shook it. He didn't let go, though, and instead he tightened his hold on your hand and pulled you towards him. You stumbled forward, and with almost no distance between the two of you, he loomed over you, his red eyes bright and ominously vibrant under the shade of your umbrella. You could hear mysterious whirs and clicks from wherever those metal legs had disappeared to and the thought of their sharp points and the awareness of the tips of his claws digging into your skin sent chills down your spine.

"If you don't hold up your part of the deal," he said gravely. "If you break your promise, if I find out you're _lying_ to me, then _I_ promise that I will hunt you down and make sure that you know firsthand the horrible things that we _Irkens_ do to the enemies of our empire. Got that?"

Once again, he had you speechless. With your mouth so dry, you couldn't manage any words, so instead you simply nodded. Red smiled with his eyes narrowed, looking pleased, and the dangerous air that surrounded him dissipated as if it'd never been there. The pressure around your hand disappeared and you drop it to grip the umbrella handle.

"Great," he chirped, suddenly all smiles and friendly faces. "See you at school tomorrow."

He stuffed his three-fingered hands into his jean pockets, turned, and walked away. For a few moments, you only stared at his back until he was too far away to hear you if you ever finally decide to respond to him. Your hands felt cold and numb from the chill left over from the rainfall and holding the umbrella for too long. Your feet felt glued to the sidewalk. You couldn't move. You couldn't think of anything other than _Life sure is crazy huh_.

By the time you'd realised that he had taken your jacket with him, he had already disappeared from your line of sight. An alien has your jacket hostage.

Oh well. That wasn't such a big deal.

"Yeah," you muttered. "See ya."

You _were_ going to be seeing him again, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> _Feel free to point out any mistakes or typos if you find any!_
> 
> This was supposed to be fluffier and maybe have some slight romance, but I dunno I think I felt like that would be too unrealistic or something so it turned out like this instead.
> 
> Before you ask, I don't intend on writing a continuation to this right now. I don't know why I wrote it as if it might have a continuation I just did I'm sorry ;–;
> 
> (btw if you're into Tallest x Reader (why else would you be here though) [Close Encounters of the Idiot Kind](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20838209/chapters/49536812) is a really good read. I really recommend it)
> 
> Thank you for reading <3


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